What would you rather get for Christmas:

1. A really ugly Christmas sweater like this one:
2. A jar of these amazing macaroons, hand-made with love and adoration by yours truly:

It’s probably safe to say your friends, family, & neighbors would choose similarly…

So don’t bother wasting a perfectly good Saturday fighting the Christmas-crazed consumers in suburban mall parking lots to throw your away your hard earned money on plastic trinkets made in China that will certainly end up at Goodwill 4 days later in exchange for a tax receipt…

Stay home and spend some quality time with your food processor to make these lovely macaroons that will win everyone’s hearts — young and old, vegan or gluten-free, rich or famous…

If you’re just looking for the Christmas sweater, see HERE. Otherwise, read on for the macaroons.

How to make the best, blonde, chocolate-covered, healthy macaroons:

First, turn on an interesting podcast and get out your food processor.

Gather the Ingredients:

• 2 Cups of plain, raw nuts. Most any kind will do, but this is my favorite mix:
  • 1/2 C Macadamia nuts
  • 6 Brazil nuts
  • 1/2 C Pecans
  • 1 C Almonds/Hazelnuts
• Dates. 24 if using sun dates. 16 if using Medjool.
• 4 C of plain shredded coconut (ensure it’s truly just coconut. No sugar added or anything else)
• 3 T Coconut Butter
• 1 tsp Vanilla Bean Powder
• 1 tsp Cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp Sea salt (unless you’re actually using pre-salted nuts)
• 2 T Coconut Oil, melted
• 1 Theo 85% or 70% dark chocolate bar

Procedure:

1. Add the nuts, dates, and half the shredded coconut to the food processor and pulse until coarsely ground.
2. Add the remaining shredded coconut along with the coconut butter, cinnamon, vanilla, and sea salt. Process until thoroughly combined.
3. Add the melted coconut oil while the processor is still running.
4. Scoop out each macaroon using an ice cream scoop and place on a cookie sheet.
5. Refrigerate until hardened.
6. While the macaroons are cooling, gently melt the chocolate bar in a double boiler. Key word: Gentlyyyyy….. If you don’t have a double boiler, don’t fret! I don’t either! I stay classy by placing a glass bowl over a pot of simmering water. However you do it, first and foremost ensure the chocolate does not get burned. Secondly, take safety precautions with your jerry-rigged double boiler.
7. Once the chocolate is nice and melty (but not burned!), dip each cold macaroon in the chocolate for a nice top coat.
8. Place them back into the refrigerator for a final cool down.

At this point it’s up to you whether or not you want to give them away or keep them all for yourself! But I promise, your friends and enemies will love you forever if you dress them up nicely in a latch lid jar with a bow on top.

Christmas shopping… obliterated.